Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I just don't understand?

I feel like I'm losing control. Like my life is so disorganized. Am I lazy? Am I crazy? I don't know but if feel like A and I are hamsters on one of those little wheels that goes round and round. Will we ever get off of it? I'm not trying to drum up a pity party but are we ever going to catch up with our bills or get ahead????? I'm hoping and praying it's this year.
After all we've been through so much infertility treatments and that's not cheap. We've also just adopted...I feel we will be forever in debt. I imagine all the money we would have if we had been fertile....I know money is not everything but it helps!
Ok back to the matter at hand, my house and my life are out of control. I can't keep up with the housekeeping. It sucks! I'm glad that we are able to provide a home for my nieces but geez...I never knew how much parenting takes out of ya!
Have you ever gotten so far behind you just feel like moving? That's right, I said it...I want to move! I want a new clean house. I know it'll probably get just as messy as this one but right now I'm enjoying my fantasy new clean house. Where everything has a place and there is nothing but sunshine pouring through the windows. Aaahhh, seems so sweet.
I remember when A and I were buying this house, I was attracted to the character and the fact that all the houses on the block were different. Not so cookie cutter, kwim. Well, six years later and one project after another later, I want out!
Besides A would love two more children. Can you believe it....two more. I love him dearly but I'm thinking one more, we'll see. I think we will move before we add to our family. So I have to make cuts. I'm thinking of getting rid of cable. I'm online all the time anyhow. It is nice to have Sex and the City playing in the background though....lol. Who needs TV, right?

Anyhow, here's to the New Year and to following all of our dreams.


Jennifer said...

I definitely know what you mean. I look at my kitchen floor and it is a disaster from M throwing food on it. All the toys strewn about in the family room. But sometimes I have to sit back and appreciate what created this "disaster". A new house would be nice though!

Texas Lisa said...

I too understand. I have the itch to move and we have only been here two years. BUT, witht he state of the market, we won't get much for our house and it would be very hard to secure a loan so here we stay...

Eileen said...

I'm glad we moved! But there will always be something, kwim? I too often think about how much money we would supposedly have if we didn't go through IVF. The only thing I can think of is that we probably would have moved much sooner since our house is what helped us pay for IVF. I look around at my friends who got pregnant the old-fashioned way and they all seem to be struggling financially for various reasons. Again, there's always something! I hope G wins and you get the house cleaning service!!! You know i'll be voting;)

Anonymous said...

Dont stress too much about it. If youre house is to clean and perfect,then it looks like no fun! At least you know the kids are having fun and feel blessed for what you do have.Your house is perfect and besides look at all the memories you share in that house!! Just stay there a little longer and put the girls to work..call it Dr. DD boot camp..Nana still calls you that!!
2 funny