Thursday, July 9, 2009

We could get a call at anytime.....

Yesterday, we had a meeting with Carrie. Carrie is a SW at Bethany. She came out to our house to do a home visit and update our paperwork for our foster parent license. I never imagined we would be licensed foster parents, it's strange how things happen. She walked around our house, pressed all three of our fire alarms (one needs batteries), she also checked where we keep our medications and she took a look at our 'vacant' (how it's stated on the application) bedroom. My house was a little messy (that's another post...lol) b/c I spent a good part of the day in the pool so I was a little embarrassed but who cares....at least I had enough sense to jump out of my bathing suit and put some clothes on 15 minutes before she arrived. I guess the important part is she gave us the thumbs up.

I have to say that during the meeting I did get a little upset. A and I were describing the ideal situation for US. We know that there are a lot of older children up for adoption through the state but we are not ready for an older child at this time. For one I nearly had to twist A's arm to even pursue adoption through foster care. And secondly G is still so little, I have to protect him and make his childhood enjoyable. At this time G is my priority. Having said this, our SW looked at us and basically said that if we are not open to more situations her supervisor will ask why we are even licensed. I can't believe she said this...I had to bite my tongue, when I really wanted to tell her to just let our license expire. If helping/adopting one child out of the foster care system isn't enough, than forget it. We've come to the realization that we are not cut out to be full time foster parents, with children of all ages coming and going. Eventually we agreed to foster up to 2 children under the age of 3. She did note that we would like a newborn, so we'll see what happens.

I have to admit after our meeting I kind of feel like maybe the infant adoption program at Bethany is the way to go. But I know of several families who have adopted through their state foster care system and are very happy.

If any of you ever have any questions, please ask, I'll try to answer them to the best of my ability.

6 comments:

Nikki said...

oooh how exciting! remember if they call you and its for an older child or not an infant or child u think is not a match for ur family, u can always turn them down. dont feel pressure to take the first one. sometimes SW will make you guilty but do what YOU feel is right for you and ur family.

When they asked me what i prefer, I said 0-2 year old and u know I got a 5 days old and then a 4 months old. Just never know.

Keep us updated! :)

Coleen and Gordon said...

It is frustrating for me when people know you are adopting and make you feel bad for what situations you are open to??? What gives them the right to tell you what you should do... You do need to think about G! I've always heard you should keep the birth order in tact...

Liz said...

I agree whole heartedly with what the other's have said. You have to do what is right for your family! They come first!!

Liz

E said...

I can't believe she said that...you would think that they need more people wanting to foster, no matter what ages are preferred. You are right, you need to do what is right for YOUR family. I'm so looking forward to hearing more about your journey through the foster route...so exciting that you could get the call any day now!!

Mandy said...

YAY! That is so exciting that you are ready to go! Congrats! I agree, totally dumb that she tried to make you feel bad about what you are open to. I feel the exact same way! I have thought about doing foster to adopt, but I would NEVER feel comfortable taking a child older than the girls!

Reading this has made me want to get my act together and get certified for Foster . . . :) Thanks for the nudge! ;)

greedygrace said...

We got a bit of grief from our social workers when we said what we wanted, too. We were also asked the question, "Why are you fostering?" We made it clear that we didn't want to foster, we only wanted to adopt. You are doing exactly what I would do, so don't feel bad about it at all!

I've also heard great things about Bethany, if you decide to go that route.